The fact that I've not been given the keys to the Land Rover is no surprise to me. Evidently John Varty took note of my bush-driving skills a couple nights ago when I steered the vehicle into a rut of Grand Canyon-like proportions and gave its shock absorbers the ultimate test. (They performed admirably, I thought, even as my head banged hard against the steel roll bar on the roof, shattering my sunglasses and leaving me with a seriously smarting lump.)

Much to Varty's dismay, and mine, we will miss visiting the tigers today. John had to get up and out at 3 a.m. to drive a couple of hours to Bloemfontein to catch a two-hour flight to Johannesburg for a 9 a.m. meeting with Cambodia's minister of parks.

I am curious about the purpose of this meeting, of course — Cambodia's tigers are in a very bad way because of seriously depleted prey — but no more so than about Varty's planned attire for such an important appointment. Call me trivial, but I've noticed in this past week that the filmmaker has one set of stripes. And they're not nearly so Hollywood as Ron's or Julie's.

This is the same man who played himself in "Running Wild," a 1995 movie (starring Martin Sheen and Brooke Shields) about saving two orphaned leopard cubs. He flattens his curls, now graying, with a sweat-stained cap and favors slip-on suede shoes (CAT brand, no less) sans socks, no matter whether he's traipsing around in the bush or town. He has an affinity for tattered camouflage pants cinched tight around his trim waist with a series of belts (one holds a pistol holster) as well as the tiger leash that is, in part, a heavy chain.

His "good" glasses, which hang onto his one ear with a lone silver arm, are kaput. He wears them taped around his neck so he doesn't lose them, but Ron and Julie (as well as his equally rambunctious 4-year-old twins, Sean and Tao) have trashed more pairs than he can count.