5. Pizza
When you get down to it, space pizza is a poor substitute for the real deal. "It simply doesn't meet anyone's expectations," Kloeris said. "You can't get a crispy crust. It's always soggy or chewy." In fact, NASA has never flown pizza into space for this reason -- only the Russians on board the Mir space station ever did, and from none other than Pizza Hut. "It certainly hasn't been in demand since then, if that tells you anything" Kloeris said.
4. Cheesecake
Space food must survive an obstacle course of preparation, sometimes a process called "retorting" -- which is a fancy word for canning food in a plastic pouch under heat and pressure. Kloeris' team tried for months to perfect a cheesecake recipe that would survive retorting, but all concoctions failed. "Dairy products do not hold up well at all during retort," Kloeris said. "Cheesecake turns brown and gets extremely gummy." So much for a slice of heaven in space.
3. Carbonated Beverages
Cans of Coca-Cola and Pepsi flew in space during the 1980s, but astronauts quickly learned about "wet" burps; without gravity to keep your food and drink down, a little gas in your tummy can turn it into a squirt gun. "Carbonation is definitely something you don't want in your on-orbit diet," Kloeris said. Besides, short of taking a stroll in the cold vacuum of space, there's no refrigerator on board any spaceship -- and who likes a warm can of cola?
2. Fish Vera Cruz
Before shelf-stable fish products like pouched salmon and tuna recently stormed gorcery stores, fish in space was a stinky experiment. The most famous dish was "Fish Vera Cruz," which was created to address astronaut complaints about fishy odors. Turns out the tomato-based sauce intended to mask the odor actually amplified it. "We flew it in the early (space) station program during Expedition 5, which Peggy Whitson was on," Kloeris said. "The Russians loved it, but Peggy asked everyone not to eat it because, to her, the smell was nauseating." When Peggy returned to Earth, the last of the Fish Vera Cruz was gobbled up into spaceflight history.
1. Brussels Sprouts
Children and future astronauts, have hope: If there's one food that's not worth the trouble of flying into space, it's Brussels sprouts. "To be perfectly honest, I don't think we'll ever fly them," Kloeris said. "We try to pick products that have high demand, and Brussels sprouts aren't the most popular vegetable in the world."
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